In the previous blog, “God you must really love me,” I wrote that God uses pain to discipline us.  The night after I wrote the words, I randomly opened my Bible and began reading.  I quickly realized that while the blog that I had written was true, it was incomplete and I felt God wanted me to share the rest of the story. 

I always know when He is speaking to me because no matter where I go or what I do, I can’t run from the tugging at my heart.  Several times a day since I had this revelation, I have felt this tug and I know from previous experience, it is nearly impossible to ignore.   Not that I want to ignore God, but we all live busy lives and we all at times, put off what we know we should do.  I am not putting it off any longer.

As I stated in part 1 of this blog, through the pain of losing my wife Kari tragically, God changed who I was.  My wife dyeing was like God moving the rudder on a large ship; my life went in a totally different direction.  But that is not all that took place when I hit rock bottom in the coming days and weeks after the accident.  God was watching me.  He wanted to see what choices I would make.  He wanted to see if my faith would pass the test.

When God created us, He did not create robots.  We all have choices that we make every day.  We can choose God or we can choose this world.  When someone is in the deepest depths of pain and suffering, we basically have two choices.  We can choose to live with God and for God and live with hope, or we can choose to reject Him and live in the pain and misery, artificially trying to make ourselves feel better with worldly things.    
One of my favorite verses about God testing our faith is James 1:2-4 “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.…” 

I am not sure there is a better example of God allowing someone’s faith to be tested than the Book of Job.  In the historical account of Job’s life, we see that Satan tried to use tragedy and calamity to try to pull Job away from God.  But before the first storm came, God already knew what the final outcome would be.  Job chose God.  Because Job chose God, God blessed Him.  Job 42:12 “The LORD blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning;”

We should not at all be surprised when pain and suffering comes to us.  We that are called Christians are one with Jesus.  Jesus suffered unimaginable pain and then God elevated Him to the highest place and His name above every name.  If we represent Jesus, the world will hate us.  We will in some way, suffer like Jesus did.  Peter explains this in 1 Peter 4:12-13 “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation.”

Like Jesus, if we continue to do what is right and continue to follow Him despite our sufferings, we will be rewarded.  Because this world is controlled by satan, there will be pain and suffering.  We are to live in this world as foreigners just passing through.  We aren’t always supposed to feel comfortable here because this is not our home.  Fortunate for believers, our lives here and our suffering is only temporary.  1 Peter 5:10 “After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.”

If life was full of rainbows and sunshine, would we ever cry out to God?  Would we realize how much we really need Him?  Affliction and pain has a dramatic, eye opening effect on just how weak and fragile we are.  Once we realize we can’t handle life on our own, we honor and worship God like we should.   Knowing that pain and suffering brings us closer to God and He to us helps us to endure the testing and trials that we will face.  No matter if we are on the mountain top or in the valley, in every situation we can still confidently say, “God you must really love me.”  
        

The other day I heard someone say, “Kids are always better behaved at some one else’s house.  That is what kids do.”  I immediately started thinking about their words as they did not sit well with me.  True, I had seen this same phenomenon with my own kids but still, something began stirring in my heart.  This morning during my prayer time, words started flowing and I felt compelled to write about it.    

Isn’t it true that most everyone, including adults, are ‘well behaved’ when they are in a public setting?  Sure we all have our moments when we lose it and break down and possibly cause a scene, but for the most part; we are good at putting on a show.  We want to be liked.  We want to feel accepted.  We often times want approval from others.  But isn’t portraying a squeaky clean image when we are really dirty and messed up, by definition a lie? 

One of the most powerful things a Christian can do is be real.  Being real is being truthful and honest with yourself and everyone around you.  You may be able to fool some people, but God is not fooled by a good acting job.  He knows every detail about you.  We can’t hide anything from Him.  What we are like when no one is looking is who we really are.  Your true heart can be seen only when you have nothing to gain in this world by your actions.  Are you a different person when no one can see?  Are you a different person at home?    

In Galatians 1:6-11 Paul speaks about a different gospel that is being preached to the Christians there.  He recognized that some were perverting the Gospel of Christ for personal gain but Paul tells them that his motives are pure.  “For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men?  For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.”  According to God, we can’t be both a people pleaser and a pleaser of God.

Jesus illustrates this same point about putting on a good show for others in Matthew 6:5.  "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.”  If we truly love God, we live to receive praise from God.  What people think of us is of little concern.  Sure, it is always nice to receive a compliment or praise from others, but we don’t live for them or by them.  We are happy and content working behind the scenes not being recognized.

No matter what we do, no matter where we go, we should always be the same because there is one that is always watching.  Proverbs 15:3 “The eyes of the LORD are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.”  Are you like a fish out of water, flip flopping back and forth depending on the situation, or are you standing on a firm foundation?  When we stand on ‘the’ foundation, we stand firm.  1 Corinthians 3:11 “For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.”   

When we stand on Jesus, we don’t shift or change who we are under pressure or depending on who is watching.  We constantly walk with integrity.  We are constantly filled with peace and joy.  We don’t need to be liked.  We don’t need to be filled with the praise of others.  We don’t need people to fill our emotional bank accounts.  When we stand on Jesus, we are full.      
 

Why do bad things happen to good people?  Why does God allow pain, suffering, and tragedy?  These questions have certainly gone through my mind a time or two in my lifetime.  Days after my wife Kari died in 2006 I had this twisted feeling in my gut that would not let loose.  Whenever I would start to wonder why she died and I got to live, my gut seemed to twist all the more.  I couldn’t wrap my mind around why God would take away our children’s mother. 

I guess you could say I was your average dad before the accident.  I was into building things and fixing things.  I wasn’t so good at fixing my six year old girls hair or picking out her clothes for the day.  I just managed to get by when it came to changing the smelly diaper of our 1 year old crumb snatcher and clothes shopping for the kids was out of the question.  Sure I helped out wherever I could, but helping in these areas always felt unnatural and uncomfortable to me.  I was most thankful that my wife routinely took care of those things for us.

But in 2006, in a split second that would be replayed in my mind over and over again, she was gone.  I had not only lost my best friend, mother of my children, and my wife, I had also lost the spiritual leader of our home.  For a time in my life I didn’t know which direction was up.  I didn’t know what to do.  I wasn’t sure how I was going to survive in a world that was flying by.  It seemed the only thing I did know for sure was pain.      
             
But through the pain that I still struggle to find words for, I began to draw closer to God.  At that time in my life, He was all I had.  Sure I had loving family and friends, but what they could do for my broken heart did not compare to the peace I felt by speaking to the Holy One.  Those tear filled prayer days transformed me.  I begged and pleaded for God to change me through the pain…to mold and shape me into who He wanted me to be.  In the coming months, God would answer those prayers mightily. 

Seven months after the accident I was completely healed and starting a new journey with the blessing of another wife.  But what my wife Fawn couldn’t have known or understood as we stood together saying our wedding vows in front of our kitchen sink, is who she was marrying on that day did not exist seven months before.   Maybe those that weren’t really close to me didn’t notice, but something changed inside me drastically.  My focus changed.  My attitude changed.  My heart changed.  There was no doubt on that wedding day who I was and what I stood for.  I was our spiritual leader.    

When a child starts going down the wrong path, a caring and loving parent will correct them.  Sometimes it doesn’t take much and the child gets back on track.  Other times, the parent must really lay down the law to get results.  The parent will often do whatever it takes to get the results they want.

Anyone that believes in Jesus as the Son of God is a child of God.  Because God loves us, He wants the best for us.  What is best for us in regards to our eternity, does not always feel so good when we endure it in the flesh.  Just like a good parent, God does not want to see us in pain.  On the contrary, He probably likes it about as much as most parents like seeing their children cry.  But parents know sometimes their children must feel discomfort to change their behavior.  If they never feel discomfort, they will never have a big enough reason to change.  Hebrews 12:7-8 “Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?  If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.”

From a worldly perspective, pain is to be feared, dreaded, and ran from.  From a heavenly perspective, pain and suffering can and will produce fruit.  All things on earth are from God or are used by God.  Even satan and his destructive, evil schemes ultimately bring about God’s will in the end.  What satan uses to hurt and destroy, God will use to change hearts and directions in people’s lives.  Before satan even makes a move, God already has His counter move ready. 

When we face hardship, rather than asking the question, “Why would you do this to me God?” we should be saying, “God you must really love me.”  I have often said I feel honored that God choose me to undergo the hardship of losing my best friend in such a tragic, horrific way.  Even though the pain that I endured is beyond description, that pain brought about a change in my heart that I desperately needed.  Because God loved me, He used that tragic event to change my course of direction.  Hebrews 12:11 “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Whatever you have suffered in the past or may be suffering right now, know God is at work.  What you have had to endure does not disprove God’s existence or tell you that He is a cruel and that He doesn’t care about you.  On the contrary, any pain that you may endure is your assurance that God wants you to be with Him forever.  Every little painful bump that God allows in your life is preparing you for what is ahead.  Like a parent getting their child ready to leave the house and enter the big, scary world, God is preparing us to leave this world and be in His presence for eternity.  Romans 8:18 “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”